


all this clatter between my ears

by ratafia



Series: Kinktober 2019 [16]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: (Nobody major though), Agent of the Shadow Broker!Thane, Alternative Universe - No Reapers, Anal Sex, BDSM, Biting, Bondage, Cock Cages, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Gentle Dom Shepard, Hand Feeding, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Improper Use of Biotics, Kneeling, M/M, Nightmares, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Denial, Porn with Feelings, Spectre!Shepard, Sub Thane, Temporarily non-verbal Thane, non-sexual bdsm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-05 20:43:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21214787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratafia/pseuds/ratafia
Summary: Sometimes everything in his mind gets too loud and Thane just wants silence.Demery is happy to provide anything his partner needs.





	all this clatter between my ears

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for the twenty-sixth day of Kinktober - Free Space. 
> 
> Though it is set in the same universe as the first part of the series, it can easily be read as a standalone.

The quiet of the room was interrupted only by the steady rustling of pages and the subtle clanking of chains that followed it.   
Were it the past, there would be the steady clatter of typing as well, but with a holographic interface, Shepard worked in silence.   
When Thane had come to him that morning and put a finger to his lips, their established sign for a quiet day, he hadn’t realised how much he had needed it too.   
To just sit, enveloped in blessed silence as though it were a blanket. 

As they always did on these days, Thane stayed close, always touching him.   
Right now it was just a constant presence, warm scales pressed against Demery’s leg where he sat at the table, working through the pile of paperwork.   
Occasionally, Thane shifted a little and his head bumped Shepard's knee.   
Another sign, and every time Shepard was happy to fulfill the request, petting his sub gently, running fingertips across the green and black until he heard sigh of content and Thane would return to his book.   
He sat still and straight at his fluffy pillow.   
He was composed, yet with every passing hour he relaxed more and more.   
He slipped, by increments into a thoughtful half awake doze, where the words of the book mingled seamlessly with his memories.   
Images and distant sounds, imaginary and real worlds filled his head.   
But they were soft and bounced off the edges of his mind harmlessly, featherlight and soothing. 

Demery looked down as blunt nails dug into his calf in two evenly timed presses.   
He preferred to use sign language on their silent days but Thane found it too taxing most of the time so they had worked out simpler signals for him.   
Like this one, and Demery nodded, smiling softly. He rose and extended a hand to help Thane up as well.   
He unfolded from his position, smooth and slow, the chains clinked again with his movements as the book was carefully laid on the edge of the table.   
Still, Demery had been around him for too long to not notice the strained misstep his partner took as he got up.   
So he walked Thane a couple feet away from the table, a squeeze of his shoulders indicated that he should stay still, and then Shepard was on his knees.   
His hands never left Thane, sliding down to his legs, to knead stiff muscles until he was satisfied.   
Only then did he get up, his fingers interlaced with Thane’s green fused ones as he led the way to the bathroom. 

No words were offered, nor were they needed.   
Just a glance, a confirmation.   
A silent "yes" offered in a slow blink of both pair of eyelids.   
Only after he’d made sure did Demery draw his partner into a loose hug from behind.   
He tugged down Thane’s soft sweatpants, carefully and steadily.   
He was always aware of every little movement, always ready to back off.   
But, Thane just leaned into him, most of his weight supported by Demery.   
The metal glimmered under the light of the bathroom, and the hushed whirring sound of the opening lock went practically unheard under the breathing of the two men.   
Demery hooked his chin over the shoulder of his partner to see better, his practiced hands removed the cock cage to help Thane relieve himself.   
As soon as he was done, the cage went back on and the small indicator of the biometric lock flashed red.   
With a soft kiss to the neck, Thane's pants went back on Demery turned and walked to the sink as the automatic systems flushed and cleaned the toilet.   
As Demery moved, so did Thane, so in unison they were closer to one being than two.   
Even though the chain that connected the cuffs on Thane's wrists was long enough to provide a fair amount of freedom, it still wasn't enough that he could wrap his arms around his dom. Instead he glued himself to his back, palms splayed against the cloth of his t-shirt, his face tucked between the shoulder blades.   
In this formation they returned to the table after Demery had washed his hands, and they settled back into their respective seats.   
Shepard by the computer, filling out the last of the reports.   
Thane by his feet, kneeling comfortably on the fluffy pillow, the book forgotten for now.   
He was too content, sleepy even, wrapped around his partner's leg and when he rested his head on Demery’s thigh, he soon dozed off into a dreamless sleep. 

When he woke it was by steady hands that ran over his scalp in rhythmic circles, tracing the patterns of his scales.   
The smile came to his lips unbidden as he lifted his gaze and met loving brown eyes that creased in an answering smile. 

"Hungry?" - signed Demery a quick question once he was sure he had his partner's attention. 

A tilt of the head, considering the question and a blink of confirmation were his only answer. 

Up they both went and Demery judged from his confident steps that Thane was better off than he’d been before his nap.   
Hand in hand, they walked to the kitchen. Demery collected some snacks and cut some fruit though his left arm was occupied by his sleepy sub who yawned and almost fell back to sleep where he stood.   
He didn't though, and he became animated when he was presented with a plate full of food.   
As Demery settled by the table, his sub went right back to his knees, his hands wrapped around his dom's leg, face tilted up, waiting.   
He accepted and chewed each offered piece.   
In silence, calm, they ate.   
Black eyes never left brown ones.   
They looked and looked and remembered all over again each speck of color, each little movement, each bat of the eyelashes.   
He measured his own breaths to those of his dom.   
He bowed in quiet gratitude when the meal was over.   
After a simple signal, he was carried to bed, secure in strong arms. 

The clinking of the chains were like a ripple at the water's surface, disturbing the calm.   
Thane wanted to crawl away from the intruding sound... but he couldn't.  
There was a certain calm to be found in that alone.   
In the feeling of the cuffs tightening, the chain on his wrists replaced with a shorter one.   
Similar restraints were wrapped around his ankles.   
They left him almost motionless.   
Restricted.   
Under control.   
Both his soul and body were united in Demery's embrace.   
Where he could simply be. 

He relaxed, when the dom settled into the bed with him and covered them both with a weighted blanket.   
It was bliss right there.  
An even pressure all around them. The silence and the dark provided clear borders for him to exist within.   
It helped to tame the turbulent currents of his mind, giving direction to them, soft, but present.   
Enough to keep him above the surface, not drowning, but floating in it, able to see the images run and change along the bottom, without being dragged into their chilling depths.   
Just resting.   
Sometimes he had the strength to focus somewhere outside of it.   
The warm wall of muscles behind his back pressed into him.   
Demery, always Demery, only Demery.   
Only his arms were allowed so close, to touch, to skip lazily along the patterns of the scales, to know all the sensitive spots along them.   
Only his lips were allowed to kiss, and they dropped soothing kisses onto Thane's shoulder when he twitched slightly at the unsettling wave in his head that tried to overthrow the balance.   
But while Demery was there, the anchor, unshakable, protecting him, Thane knew he could get through it.   
He just needed to wait it out, just hold out, hold onto those arms and lips and the sense of belonging that went deeper than love. 

He slept, lulled by the serenity of the moment.   
It didn't last. 

_Blood turns the tiles in their living room bright crimson. _   
_There's so much, it's like a flood. _   
_He's used to the sight, but this time the smell makes him nauseas. Makes him sick with dread. _   
_The terror crashes over him as he sees her. Or, rather, her body. _   
_Twisted and abused, cold eyes staring at him, unseeing. Dead. _   
_She's dead and it's his fault. _   
_All his fault. _   
_His heart falls apart piece by piece with every step closer, and when he touches her, cold and already stiff arm listless in his grip, there's only agony and void and despair in him. _

He sobbed, his face wet and shaking.   
Still he’s grateful, oh so grateful for the pain in his neck, the bite singing with a fresh angry sting.   
He didn't fight the crushing embrace.   
Didn't say anything when he felt his pants dragged down just enough for Demery's hips connect to his naked ass.   
He didn't fight, he didn't encourage either.   
He couldn't. Couldn't trust himself.  
Neither then, nor today.  
He could trust Demery though.   
His dom knew best, knew what Thane needed better than he himself.   
He knew how to chase the nightmares away. 

Demery had that uncanny ability to read Thane like an open book.   
Just as the crimson waves rose up again and his memory drudged up the smell and the vision of those dead eyes, Demery was there.  
Tearing it away, fighting against it as ferociously as he would on the battlefield.   
No prisoners, no mercy.   
But there was control, and caution, and knowledge.   
Demery knew what haunted his partner, so even though he bit again, the sensitive frills echoing back with the jagged pricks of pain, he did not break the skin.   
The stench of blood and death stayed in Thane's memory.   
It had gotten further and further away, fighting for every inch tooth and nail, clinging to him like a barbed wire...  
But this ridiculous, savage human that Thane loves was far more stubborn than some nightmare.   
He distracted and demanded attention.   
Pain and pleasure, kisses and bruising fingertips on his hips, the wet pressure of his cock and stifling weight of the body above him.   
Thane hung onto it, even though his mind still flashed back and forth between the present and the past.   
He hid from the latter in the reassuring burn of Demery's touch.   
Close and closer, in and deeper still.   
It was slow, but Demery was the most stubborn being in the universe, Thane was sure of that. 

He pressed in and in, sinking his cock into Thane's body bit by bit.   
It seemed endless.   
Time was meaningless to them, nothing more than a trick of the mind that Thane didn't trust at all right now.   
Didn't believe in it, choosing to measure reality with something he's sure of.   
Demery.   
Demery, Sir, Sir, Demery...  
He told it to himself again and again, dragging his anguished soul back to the only place it found some peace.   
Right there, where the delicious pain went on and on, waning only to bloom again with the next push in. 

Demery bottomed out and Thane was finally aware enough to comprehend that the movement of his lips on sub's neck were not just mindless caress.   
There were words, completely soundless, but still there.   
He recognised one. _"Mine"._   
Breathed out into his skin, settling in this heart like a soothing balm on festering wounds.   
When Demery bottomed out, all of him got pressed so close to Thane.   
Deep and full, and he wanted to stay like that forever.   
To feel the racing beat of human's heart against his spine, trying to beat out of his chest and meet Thane's that mirrored the rhythm. 

The hands on him moved, readjusting their grip to fully enclose him in a hug.   
One palm covered his heart.   
Thane hid his smile in the pillow.   
He buried his gasp there too, because the second arm of his dom slid lower.   
Where the unyielding metal prevented him from getting as hard as he felt, it dug into the sensitive flesh even further with the combined pressure of their bodies.   
Curious fingertips traced the outer edge of the cage, and then they exploded with blue, a little burst of biotics, enough to make Thane choke on his breath.   
There was no escape from the sensation though, no matter how much he squirmed against the electrifying energy, the grip was too tight on him.   
It was too good, especially with his ass clenching instinctively, gripping the cock buried deep even tighter.   
And even deeper, because those millimeters he could move away from the torturing hand moved him closer to Demery.   
Who grinned, the edge of his teeth shifted, only a shadow of the bite.   
Enough to make Thane tremble with anticipation.   
He almost moaned on the first thrust.   
There's no build up or warning, the stillness changing to the storm in a matter of seconds.   
Demery fucked him fast and deep, and the momentum of each thrust pushed the sub into the mattress, and the cage into his crotch, and it's exquisite.   
There was no more place in his head for anything else.   
Except...

Demery.   
The storm of Thane's thoughts slowly cleared as he watched him sleep.   
Long dreadlocks lay on the pillow like black snakes, one stubbornly falling onto the human's face.   
Thane's hands were still bound, locked between their bodies, and he couldn't move them. He didn't want to either.   
He tried to get the lock away with his nose, but its just fallen back a second later.   
Demery grumbled in his sleep and snuggled closer.   
It was fascinating to watch.   
Thane knew that when alone, Demery hated sleeping face down. Old habits die hard, especially those that keep a warrior alive.   
But when they were together, they always ended up like this.   
With his dom atop of him, enveloping Thane in a protective embrace, tight and stubborn, just like the rest of him.   
The man who the galaxy believed to be a heartless, ruthless monster was happy to show his back to any danger if it meant protecting Thane. Shielding him from any harm, be it a weapon or sub's own treacherous mind.   
It would be terrifying if it was anybody else.  
But the truth was, Demery was a ruthless monster, ready to take on anything and come out on the other end laughing.   
It's just his heart most definitely existed.   
Thane felt it. He knew it to be true, because he felt its love every second of every day.   
He fell asleep--restful and deep slumber now--while reciting a grateful prayer to all the Gods he knew for sending this man to him. And allowing to keep him.


End file.
